And I should've gone to the Castro for the William Friedkin series instead. But I'm still a little tired from Burning Man and just wanted to go to something local.
Okay, new rule, there shouldn't be any more remakes of movies that are perfect to begin with. In fact, if anyone wants to remake a movie, the only acceptable option is to remake "Teenage Hooker Became a Killing Machine in Daehakroh". I wanna see the $100M version of that.
As for Rob Zombie's "Halloween", well, it isn't John Carpenter's "Halloween" and it sure as shit isn't my "Halloween". I'm so disappointed in Rob Zombie. I enjoyed "House of 1000 Corpses" for the silly rock-video fun it was. I thought "The Devil's Rejects" was great and represented a real step forward for Mr. Zombie. And I didn't go into "Halloween" thinking it'd suck this much. I knew it'd be different, but I thought I could judge it on its own merits and not hold it up against the classic 1978 version. Problem is, the difference in quality is so pronounced that it felt like the 1978 version was reality and this was the cheesy insta-movie made to cash in on it. Other than the tits, it felt straight-to-late-night-TV bad. I don't know anyone who's ever said, "Ya know what 'Halloween' needs? It needs a bunch of gratuitous titties and it needs Michael Myers to take off his mask!"
I'm totally puzzled. Rob Zombie obviously knows horror movies, and he obviously knows "Halloween", so why doesn't he get Michael Myers. It's simple--Michael Myers doesn't need motivation, he doesn't need to be humanized, he's just fucking evil and he will kill you. Michael Myers doesn't cock his head quizzically to get a better look at you, by the time you see him he's already looking exactly where he needs to be. Seriously, in even the crappiest "Halloween" sequels, Michael Myers still has a menacing presence, all the worse because you can't understand him. It might be a minute out of a 90 minute shit-fest, but there will be a moment where I'm afraid of Michael Myers. This was the first time I was never afraid of him, and that's just sad.
If this movie ends the Michael Myers saga, and stops people from making more crappy sequels, then some good came of it. If anyone makes a sequel based on this movie, I'm going to cry.