A good ol' boy named Duke (so nicknamed because he's full of dookie) and his hilarious negro comic relief save the world from a green, metal-eating maguffin controlled by an evil Scotsman. Then the Baroness appears to make everyone's cobra rise.
There's a ton of flashbacks, and each time I hoped it "accidentally" skipped to a different movie. Sadly, no such luck. But at least it's set up for a sequel--and thinking about that made me cry into the many containers of alcohol I brought along.
Running Time: 118 minutes
My Total Minutes (estimated): 166,634