Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Jason goes to Bad Movie Night and watches LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD

Is this a trick question? Given the choices, I'd rather Live Free.

So I have a certain amount of affection for the DIE HARD franchise. The first one is a true classic, a blueprint for its own genre. It had a good setup, a nicely claustrophobic setting, and (I shudder to say this, but) an engaging hero and some kick-ass stunts.

DIE HARD 2 followed basically the same format. And in fact, by sticking so strictly to the same formula (even bringing back an incidental character like Sgt. Al Powell) it becomes pretty silly. And I'm sorry, but the grenade scene was ridiculous and the special effects in that stunt didn't age well. But I don't hate the movie. It's a product of its time and it's fun.

DIE HARD: WITH A VENGEANCE I have an odd amount of affection for. See, it came out while I was in college, and at my school we had a tradition of "Ditch Day" where the seniors would leave campus and the underclassmen would try to get into their rooms. Tradition was that the seniors would leave behind a series of challenges to get into the room, sending the students all over the campus (or city) to collect clues and finally get into the room, where there would be a bribe of treats and/or toys. DIE HARD: WITH A VENGEANCE seems like an action movie based on Ditch Day, and if I recall correctly it came out on Ditch Day +/- a few days (or that's just when I saw it). So maybe it's objectively silly but it holds a special place in my heart.

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD sucks!!! If my uncle raped me for its entire running time, and I only had the mental ability to block out one thing, I would still be whimpering about the horrible, horrible day when my uncle sodomized me for 2 hours, 8 minutes AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED.

I think I've made my opinion clear.

Running Time: 128 minutes
My Total Minutes: 236,193

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