Friday, April 20, 2012

Jason blasts off in the Starship Vortex and meets a STAR PILOT

Tonight was opening night of the San Francisco International Film Festival. But I had already seen the film, and I knew the sort of crowd I prefer, so I went to my favorite underground film venue and caught some ridiculous 1960's Italian sci-fi.

At least the aliens actually land in Italy, on Sardinia to be precise. And the hot lady alien pilot has a great uniform--a clear circle in the center to show off her cleavage. Beyond that, well...they believe the atom bomb takes an infinitesimal amount of Uranium, weightlessness is the same as bouncing on a trampoline, you can breath through a little mouthpiece but don't need a space suit....and women can drive. Beyond that, beats me what happened. Oh yeah, there are Chinese agents who where suits and fedoras--I call them the Brues Brothers (Bruise Brothers?) And for some reason the aliens need humans to help them repair their ship...and after they succeed the aliens just take them captive. But the humans mutiny and I guess all is well. Honestly, it's one of those movies where you could walk in at any moment and ask, "What's going on?" and someone like me who had been watching the whole time can honestly answer, "I have no idea!" And that's not just the three martinis (and one beer) talking.

Oh yeah, and it was preceded by my new favoritest cartoon ever--DESTINATION EARTH. Financed by the petroleum industry, it's the story of a dictatorial communist Mars and their exploration of Earth for insights into new energy sources. Previously all power was created by dear leader Ogg whipping his subjects and/or some sort of dynamite rocket fuel. But Captain Cosmic discovers that on Earth, at least in the great land of The United States of America, they produce energy through petroleum...and through free enterprise!

Total Running Time: 103 minutes
My Total Minutes: 277,928

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