WOMEN'S STUDIES: Our hero is a women's studies major who volunteers for a senator who is dying of breast cancer. She and her friends (including her fiancée) have their car stolen on their way to college. They're taken in by students from a local all-girls college. And of course they're a horribly overblown parody of the evil coven of witches intent on enslaving men (for reproductive necessity) and eventually killing them all. At least, I hope it was a parody because then it's just dumb. If it was serious than I'm annoyed (I don't offend easily, but if anyone believes that any feminist thinks like that, I'm saddened by your ignorance). Oh, and they use a framing device to show you in the first scene that the hero survives (at least up to a point), and so all suspense is lost.
THE DIRECTOR'S CUT: At least it has a fairly amusing premise--a film crew (with a first time director) goes to a remote country house to shoot a movie...and then someone kills them all. Okay, but the amusing part is that the director is so selfish (or so single-minded in his focus on getting the movie made) that the first couple of deaths don't matter. Only when it's clear that they're not getting the movie made and their all targets does he even get behind the efforts to get the heck out of there (of course, by then the cars have been sabotaged). So they're all at the mercy of a psycho in a koala suit who's trying to kill them all--and pretty much succeeding.
JINGLES THE CLOWN: Okay, this was the biggest disappointment of the whole series. So horribly lit, couldn't see what was happening most of the time. And when I could, it mostly just annoyed me. There's a killer clown who comes back from the dead. A schlock TV crew of psychics and paranormal investigators travel to the house where he did all the killings, and as a ratings stunt bring the one girl (now all grown up) who escaped Jingles the first time. And there's killing, some sort of magic (I think it was that the souls of his victims keep him alive, I didn't care) and some bad special effects. I didn't care, it was a better use of my time to take a catnap through the middle of this movie. And it's not just me, I didn't speak to anyone who would say they liked this movie.
Total Running Time: 261 minutes
My Total Minutes: 208,736
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