Gather 'round children, and I'll tell you a story of long ago. The year was 1989, Erika Eleniak was hot as hell (and in the pages of Playboy) but there was no Internet to speak of. So if you wanted to see her magnificent titties, you couldn't just do a Google Image search of "Erika Eleniak Under Siege Cake Scene" (be sure to turn off the safe search filter in the settings.) No, you either had to buy a paper copy of Playboy (always a danger that the parents would discover it) or you had to watch a ridiculous action movie starring Steven Seagal, Gary Busey, and Tommy Lee Jones (trivia: one of these guys actually went on to become an actor!) That's right, back then action movies weren't about plot or characters or anything like that, they were stupid things you had to sit through an watch 90 minutes of crap to see 3 seconds of some chick's boobs.
Of course, I was fifteen back then, and I've never, ever regretted seeing UNDER SIEGE. Until now. Goddamn that was painful. Granted, I was sleep deprived from Cinequest and I was a little drunk, but I didn't "host" so much as "survived" that dog turd. Now excuse me, I've got some googling to do. And then some sleep.
Running Time: 103 minutes
My Total Minutes: 273,348