Friday, November 25, 2011

Jason watches THE MUPPETS

Obscene tweets aside, I really, truly, honestly, and innocently loved this movie. More than that, it was something I really, really needed. Too much of my childhood has been "rebooted" in hip, edgy, cool, sucktastic forms. The worst offender, of course, are Michael Bay's TRANSFORMERS movies. But there are any number of lesser transgressions against my childhood. Scooby-Doo doesn't need wink-wink stoner jokes. I refuse to watch THE DUKES OF HAZZARD with Johnny Knoxville and Jessica Simpson. I don't want to see the Smurfs in New York. And while I wasn't a huge fan as a kid, I'll steer clear of the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Hell, don't even get me started on the "improved" Star Wars movies.

Too much of what passes for culture nowadays is some soulless cross between nostalgia and masturbation--nostalgibation, if you will. I'm constantly being told to remember the simple joys I had as a child and somehow be excited that now they're all edgy and cool and I can enjoy them as an adult. Well, I loved the Muppets growing up. And their movie gave me exactly what I wanted--a chance to enjoy them again in the exact same way. Yes, they acknowledge that the world has changed, they even give us a glimpse into what it would look like if the Muppets were given the edgy modern update (and called The Moopets). But they give us the Muppets that can be enjoyed in the same way I enjoyed them as a kid, and give us a story that's all about how important and valued that timelessness is. Sure, the voices aren't quite right (haven't been since Jim Henson passed away), and I do wish that Frank Oz was on board (for what it's worth, I respect his decision to stay away, but think he's wrong). Maybe no one Muppet gets quite enough time, and maybe Animal shouldn't have gone quite so long before his anger management training fell away. I'm sure if I could stand back and view it from a distance, I could be more critical. As it is, I'm just glad the movie theater was dark so no one could see the tears welling up in my eyes or me lip-synching to "Rainbow Connection."

Of course, maybe it's just that I was pretty drunk when I saw it. I'll have to see it again sober to see if it really holds up.

Oh, and just so I have one solid piece of criticism, Jason Segel should never be allowed to dance again (or whatever it was he was doing while other people danced around him).

Oh yeah, and it was preceded by a TOY STORY short, SMALL FRY, about the lives of the crappy little fast food kid's meal toys. It was cute.

Total Running Time: 105 minutes
My Total Minutes: 257,292
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