Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Jason slips into a Vortex for an Intemperance Playhouse

A double feature of weird, ridiculous Brad Grintner flicks that can at best be charitably called "not very good."

First up, a biker gang flick DEVIL RIDER! A young girl rejects the karate teacher who likes her, and falls in with a biker gang led by a boxer called Champ (because, you know, he was/coulda been the champ). Her dad hires a private eye, who tracks her down through her sister (who spends half the movie explaining how she fell in with a similar gang and that lead her to a sad life of prostitution) and then goes undercover as the oldest and least convincing biker thug ever. So now the karate master has to rescue both her and the private eye. You know, describing it actually makes it sound like a movie that makes sense. But the editing was so bad I was left puzzling over how all those scenes were actually in the same movie and almost told a story.

But that wasn't the weird part. The second feature was BLOOD FREAK. This time, the biker is friendly. In fact, he helps a stranded girl with her flat tire. She invites him home to a party, and then he follows her to her father's turkey farm. Too bad his father is a mad scientist who slips him a drug that turns his head into a giant turkey head. That's right, he spends most of the movie walking around as a giant man-turkey. That actually happened, and I am speechless.

Total Running Time: 161 mintues
My Total Minutes: 257,979
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