Jason goes to Cinequest--Day 10

Now the end is in sight. 3 more days (including encore day)

First up, POLIGAMY, a hilarious is inconsequential trifle about love and commitment. Andras and Lilla are a couple about to get married and have a baby. They're in love, but of course Andras has some stereotypical anxiety about commitment and (as he confesses to his buddy) he wishes maybe he'd played the field more. Well, the next morning he wakes up and Lilla is a completely different woman. Really, really a new woman. Like a total stranger--different look, different personality, different life. Only she's still named Lilla, she remembers a life with him, and loves him. His friend only knows the new Lilla, and thinks he's a little crazy. His therapist (who previously had told him he's her most normal patient) also has no explanation. So after freaking out for a while, he decides to just go with it. He even figures out the rules--each new Lilla sticks around until they have sex, then the next morning they turn into a new one. Kinda sucks, if he gets one he likes he can only keep her around through abstinence. Things take a few more weird turns until a charming ending. High concept fun, and I suppose there's a facile moral in there about how sticking with one true love is better than variety. But the gimmick is so out there that it really can't be about more than the fun of the gimmick.

Next up, a totally kickass zombie movie that takes place in West Africa, THE DEAD. Gotta start with this--these are the classic, slow, Romero zombies. You know, correct zombies. American military engineer Lt. Brian Murphy fails to get out on the last evacuation flight, so he's left behind with hordes of shambling zombies and one other survivor--a local man, on a journey to a military base to find his son, who was evacuated.

Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING dead was groundbreaking in 1968 as one of the first horror films to have an African-American protagonist. So it's completely appropriate that the Ford brothers have brought the genre back to Africa, although a hole lot has changed in the meantime. There's also a standard Romero rule that "The zombies are us" and the real villains are the survivors who fail to work together. From that standpoint I could see THE DEAD as actually a remarkably optimistic movie--survivors work together very well, at least after some initial gun-pointing and confirming that no one's bit. A lot has changed since 1968, particularly in race relations, and so now you can make a movie with one white protagonist and hordes of black zombies and not have it be all about race. Instead, it's all about making a kick-ass, exciting genre flick.

And then the final show started with the short, BASE EMOTIONS. Bias alert, it was made by my friend Vijay Rajan. But it's not a Puppymeat Production, so I think I can be fair. The title comes from the Maori belief (at least, as explained in the opening) that there are three base emotions--Lust, Despair, and Fear--and all other emotions are combinations of them. All three are explored in a one-night stand that's a mix of fucking and arguing. Interesting idea, and well executed as a first effort out of school (he actually took 5 years to finish because everyone sort of went on with their non-film lives). As far as criticism, he acknowledged that his sound mix is not complete. I'd add that it's a little over-written. The dialog is more what a writer would put on a page, not what two people would say to each other in a hotel room. But still, an interesting effort that surprised me and makes me want to see Vijay make more movies.

And finally I ended the day with SENTIMENT OF THE FLESH, a story about medical imaging. Sexy, sexy medical imaging. FYI, that's a little close to home for me, since my day job is in medical imaging. A radiologist falls in love with a student of medical illustration. She went in for an X-ray complaining of lower back pain. He thinks she's perfect, she's convinced there's something wrong with her. Lots of sexy times, then kind of slow, then a totally fucked up ending that's not for the squeamish. Damn, this movie is really, really French.

And that's all I have to say about that. Bring on the final weekend of Cinequest!

Total Running Time: 297 minutes
My Total Minutes: 227,738

Jason explicates NOSFERATU

In all the excitement of seeing so many new movies at Cinequest, I've almost lost sight of my favorite old movie, playing Friday night at the California, with the always awesome Dennis James at the organ: NOSFERATU

Anyone who has seen it can tell you about the amazing visuals, the creepy tone, and how it's the first (surviving) version of Dracula on screen (with names changed in a failed attempt to avoid copyright issues). But I just want to add my interpretation (and I'm probably not the first with this take) to the mix in hopes that thinking about this will give anyone who sees it at least a more interesting viewing experience, whether you agree with it or not.

The key to understanding NOSFERATU is to sympathize with the female lead (something that's pretty rare even in contemporary films). In particular, the key is to realize that while Thomas and Ellen Hutter are married, it is an unconsummated marriage. In the opening scene we see Ellen sitting at home, bored, playing with her pussy...cat. We then see her husband Thomas, skipping along like an idiot man-child. He picks some flowers and brings them to her. Although we can't hear the conversation, I imagine it goes something like this:

Thomas: "Guess what, dear?"

Ellen: "We're finally going to do it!?"

Thomas: "No! I picked you some flowers!"

She's visibly disappointed at receiving flowers. What kind of woman is disappointed at receiving flowers? Answer: One who is tired of his bullcrap. But she thinks fast and makes up an excuse about being sad because the flowers will now die. Nearly the identical exchange occurs minutes later when he explains he's going to Transylvania on business.

In Transylvania, of course, he runs across Count Orlok, the vampire (and the physical manifestation of the unfetter male id). As Orlok attacks Hutter, Ellen feels something and reaches out...to Orlok, not to her husband. Through her longing, she brings Orlok, and all his destruction, to the city.

Ellen waits for her lover to return. She waits by the seashore. Her husband is coming by land, it's Orlok who is coming by sea. Orlok is now (psychically) her love, not her husband. Unfortunately, he brings sickness, death, destruction (he is, after all, the unfettered male id).

In order to defeat the Vampire, Ellen must make a sacrifice. She must give herself to him, keeping him "up all night" and "engorged with blood" until the "cock crows" thereby killing him. It's a metaphor....

NOSFERATU is a story of the female libido--the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Enjoy NOSFERATU at Cinequest, 7:00 Friday night.

Jason goes to Cinequest--Day 9

So guess what I did Wednesday night? That's right, I watched some movies!

But first, let me just start by saying my last words (I promise) on hating SAMUEL BLEAK. I have something of a reputation for liking too many movies, so it's pretty unusual for me to have such a violently negative reaction. People have challenged me that while it's flawed, even horribly awful, it's not the worst movie in the history of Cinequest, or even this year's Cinequest. NEW YORK DECALOGUE, for example, has inspired violent reactions. Reactions I understand and sympathize with, even if I don't completely agree. I also have a friend who refuses to ever return to Cinequest because her first experience was watching CANARY. I understand, that movie can be frustrating and annoying, but it's not "bad."

You see there's a difference between a "bad" movie and just "not my kind of movie." If you're allergic to aspirin, that doesn't mean aspirin is a bad pain reliever, it just means you shouldn't take it. On the other hand, if you sold me a hammer with instructions to hit myself on the head until your pain goes away, that's a bad pain reliever.

CANARY opens with 10 minutes of un-subtitled, banal Russian dialog. That can bore people, frustrate people, piss people off. But it (the scene, if not the reactions) is absolutely intentional, and all those reactions are completely valid. If it pisses you off, fine. You can think it failed on your terms, but it succeeded on its own.

SAMUEL BLEAK failed on its own terms. It was supposed to be an entertaining, inspiring movie, but it was full of too many emotionally false, groan-inducing scenes to be either.

With that said, I wish it luck. I am not trying to keep people from seeing SAMUEL BLEAK.

Hating a movie is way better than not caring about it one way or the other. The worst thing you can say about a movie is, "Ehhh...I guess it was okay." I hope people have seen it (and continue to see it) because they wanted to know what I thought was so awful. I hope it has a great life as a cult classic bad movie, with drunk college students shouting one-liners and laughing at it. And if that's not what Dustin Schuetter wants for a legacy, then I hope his next film is better. I'll see it.

And now to the movies I saw Wednesday, starting with the short BABY. It starts out really fascinating. A woman sees some guys steal a girl's cell phone. She confronts them, but they brush her off. And one of them follows her onto the subway (or was it a bus, I forget), looking all menacing and trying to talk to her. And then...I fell asleep. I was out for maybe 5-10 minutes (it's a 25 minute short), and when I woke up I had no idea where I was. I mean, I knew I was at Cinequest, I knew I was in the Camera 12, but I had completely forgotten what movie I was seeing. I've dozed off before, but I've never been that disoriented. It was kinda scary. Oh, and as far as I know BABY was pretty good.

That was the lead in to the feature, THE SNOW CAVEMAN, a documentary about Sverre Nokling, a man who has lived in the wilds of the Norwegian mountains for two decades. He stashes supplies all over the mountains, bathes in streams (in the summer) or public bathrooms (in the winter), and shelters in caves he has found or dug all over the mountain. As an aside, I liked him talking about how a dome is the best structure for a snow cave--I learned that from my Boy Scout days in Alaska. He's got a sense of humor, he likes to sing, and he likes solitude and nature. He doesn't come off as crazy per se, but he's certainly different. The major conflict is with his mother, who loves him and knows he's a good boy, but is heartbroken over his rejection of society. So when she dies, she wills him her apartment, but only on the condition that he lives there or sells it to pay for a different place to live. So he is faced with a tough decision. He's an interesting subject, interesting enough to carry a movie that's very light on any sort of narrative flow.

Then I caught, MEDAL OF HONOR, a clever little treat from Romania. Ion I. Ion is an old man, pretty much living out his final days. He's got a wife...who barely speaks to him. He's got a son...living in Canada, who he hasn't seen in 7 years. He's got a grandson, who he's never seen, and who doesn't even speak Romanian. And then he gets a letter from the Ministry of Defense telling him he's being awarded a medal for an act of bravery in WWII, over 50 years ago. He can't even remember what he did, so he politely asks for an explanation, but enjoys his medal anyway. In the meantime, he studies his old war letters, figures out it must have been for a battle where his squad blew up a gun, and he starts living with a little more zeal. Turns out, having a piece of metal on your chest manages to put a little more pride in his heart, and people give him quite a bit more respect. Too bad the Ministry follows up his request by discovering it was a typo, the medal was meant for Ion J. Ion. Oops! It's an excellent, funny, poignant movie with an excellent performance by Victor Rebenjuic as Ion.

And then I saw the epochal cinematic event of our lives, the moment when everything changed, the world premiere of...

PUPPYMEAT PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS THE GLASS SLIPPER.

By far, the best moments come at the 00:00:25 mark:

and the 00:01:34 mark:

Okay, in all seriousness I'm probably a little too emotionally involved in the success of this movie to review it fairly. On the other hand, I was not at all involved in the making of this. I just gave my friend Jarrod Whaley some money to put my name on the credits, I didn't have any creative input (which I think technically makes me the best producer ever). For me to take credit for this movie would be like taking credit for a friend's baby when all I did was poke a hole in his condom. Sure, it might not have happened without me, but that doesn't mean it has any of my DNA.

With that said, I loved it. I'm proud as all hell to have my name on it. And it was thrilling being in the audience hearing people laugh at the right moments. And here's a link to a much better (paid, even!) writer who isn't connected to the production, so you can trust him! See, it's not just me (and fellow producer Cynthia Corral) who liked it!

And that was Wednesday at Cinequest.

Total Running Time: 278
My Total Minutes: 227,441

Jason goes to Cinequest--Day 8

Another day, another 3 movies.

First up, we started with the short DAISY CUTTER, a girl living in a war torn region picks flowers, in what might be the most fucked-up short I've seen at Cinequest. Of course, I haven't seen the Mindbenders program yet.

And that was the lead in to THE BLIND, which will now be the movie I cite as an example of how I can like romantic movies (I have been accused of not liking romances). The opening voice over explains how Marcus and Kate are a great romantic couple. And what unfolds is then the slowest, most passionless story ever. Their lives fall apart, and they seemingly aren't meant for each other. But they are. They really, really are. Because in all relationships, one is meant to love, and one is meant to be loved, and they have the perfect love. If this isn't a joke, it's my favorite romance ever. If it is a joke, double that sentiment.

So then I actually had something very rare for me at Cinequest--a break. As in over an hour with no movie on my schedule. So I tried to see if I could crash the VIP Soiree. They've let lowly media people in before (and the press pass used to always include that), but no luck last night. Instead I stopped at House of Siam (part of the Cinequest Diner's Circle, so support them!) The garlic prawns were delicious.

And then I strolled back to the Camera 12 for NOBEL PRIZE WINNER, which after careful thought is my favorite of the festival so far. Joachim West is a talented writer, but unrecognized and not too confident. In fact, even though he's already spent the advance, is getting evicted, and his novel (10 years in the writing) is done, he doesn't send it to his publisher, he throws it in the trash. And goes off to be homeless...and fakes his own death. And then his publisher receives the manuscript...and loves it...and passes it off as the work of a famous writer who happens to have writer's block. And wacky hijinx ensue. A smart, funny, cynical as hell story of the gap between genius and recognition ("How can he be a genius if no one's heard of him?") Some might be a little put off by too many far-fetched coincidences. There's a line early on he says about coincidence, that I can't quite remember but seems meant to give the film leave to play about in coincidences as much as it wants. And I know for a fact that a lot of the audience was put off by the ending. I will try to avoid spoilers by speaking in generalities, but be warned anyway. For a long time there seems to be hope for a happy ending--the wicked will be punished and the good will triumph. But this isn't that kind of movie, it's cynical and a little mean. And when the audience realized at the ending exactly what kind of ending it would be, I heard palpable grumblings of disappointment and even anger. And I must admit I had the briefest flash of disbelief that they could actually end it like this. But that thought dissipated quickly and I embraced the cynical ending as the absolute intention of the film, and I loved it.

And then I saw perhaps the most challenging program in the festival, which started with the short SNOVI (DREAMS). Memories and dreams of war, a soldier haunted by his past, or a ghost dreaming of an alternate future. I don't really know, but it was well done.

And then I ended the night with NEW YORK DECALOGUE. I have no freakin' clue what to say about this movie. It's frustrating, it's beautiful, it's nearly dialog free, it's musically rich, it's boring, it's shocking. I was aggravated, I was bored, and I struggled (and briefly failed) to stay awake, and I'm afraid that might mean I'm not good enough to appreciate this movie. A series of vignettes show a window into the lives of various New Yorkers, leading up to a prologue that brings them all together (or as I tweeted, does the exact opposite. Yes, that's a spoiler, and it's in bad taste). I wish I loved this movie. I wish I hated this movie. But instead I'll be content to be enormously conflicted about this movie (and maybe try watching it again on a screener).

And that's the end of day 8, and SAMUEL BLEAK is still the worst thing I've ever seen at Cinequest.

Total Running Time: 265 minutes
My Total Minutes: 227,163

Jason goes to Cinequest--Day 7

Hey, I just realized a handy way to remember what day of the festival it is. Since it started on March 1, day 2 was March 2, day 3 was March 3,...Monday was March 7, so it must be day 7. I'm good at maths! Which is a good thing, because the first two movies featured math, or at least numbers in the titles.

First up, 80 DAYS. Axun is a 70-something woman living in Spain. She has a daughter in America and a husband who would be lost without her (one endearing recurring joke is how she's the one who opens jars because his hands are weak--arthritis, I assume?). When her brother (I think, I was a little unclear on the relationship) Mikel is in a car crash and is in the hospital, she goes to visit him. And there she meets an old school friend Maite, who is visiting her brother in the very next bed. They were very close friends, in fact Axun's first kiss was with Maite. While Axun stayed at home and raised a family in her conservative world, Maite is a world traveler, a pianist, and a lesbian. And reigniting their friendship brings up some confusing and powerful feelings in Axun. Their story is told with an uncommon grace, subtlety, tenderness, and humor. You care about every character, even (especially) Axun's husband who begins to suspect she's having an affair because she's always staying late at the hospital and not coming home. Very well done.

The next show started with THE TWIN GIRLS OF SUNSET STREET. A weird stop-motion story of two old women, the children they keep locked up, and their odd business.

And that led into 22ND OF MAY, by Koen Mortier. I loved his first film, EX-DRUMMER when I saw it at Indiefest two years ago. In fact, I loved it so much that I didn't even read the synopsis, I stopped when I saw it was from him. And that's the perfect way to go in--not knowing what's going to happen. Even seeing the picture in the program guide is too much of a spoiler. But there's no way to describe it without spoilers, so here goes. It starts with Sam, a tired-looking man going through his morning routine--washing, having a smoke, having breakfast, and making his way to work. He's a security guard in a shopping mall, but his job is really directing people to the store they're looking for and rousting the homeless out of there. And then a bomb goes off. It's so unexpected and such a contrast to the laconic pace of the opening scenes that it has the obvious shocking effect. Sam crawls through rubble, tries to rescue people, and eventually just flees the scene in terror. And then he is haunted by various victims, as they force him to relive the day over and over again, asking why he didn't do something to stop it. It's a visually stunning movie that smartly examines the feelings of guilt in a man who realistically couldn't have done anything to stop a tragedy. To me, it's a reflection on both the pointlessness and inescapability of reliving tragic events over and over again in our minds (incidentally, Mortier said in the Q&A that the movie was inspired by 9/11 and his thoughts of security workers there).

And finally, I ended the day with a good laugh with Shorts Program 7: Comedy Favorites
CAPTAIN FORK: The travails and fantasies of a single dad. If only there was someway he could no longer be a dad. Hey, these pajamas are flammable, aren't they?
CAREFUL WITH THAT CROSSBOW: A brave girl and a boy with terrible aim.
DELMER BUILDS A MACHINE: And it's one hell of a machine. It can fire a shot all the way to....
ENRIQUE WRECKS THE WORLD: One little slingshot can kill all the animals in the world.
HELLO CALLER: That's the freakiest, kinkiest suicide hotline ever.
INSIDE OUT: Where to begin...overlapping stories of prison, toilet conversations, marching band, therapy, and kinky sex. And more, I'm sure.
LEST WE FORGET: A couple of old veterans teach a smarmy used car salesman not to abuse his wife and son.
NOT YOUR TIME: Sam Rosenthal (Jason Alexander) is a struggling writer who finally comes up with the perfect pitch--he's going to kill himself. Everyone wants to take a meeting about that story. Starring many real Hollywood producers and agents.
TIME FREAK: If you have a time machine, don't get too hung up on using it to perfect every moment of your life.

And that was day 7 of Cinequest 2011, my 10th Cinequest, and SAMUEL BLEAK is still the worst thing I've ever seen at Cinequest.

Total Running Time: 310 minutes
My Total Minutes: 226,898

Jason goes to Cinequest--Day 6

End of the first weekend. Five more movies.

First up, THE WORLD ACCORDING TO ION B, a documentary that succeeds by sheer virtue of the strength of its fascinating subject. Ion Barduleanu is an artist. Check that, Ion Barduleanu is a drunk living in the garbage in an alley in Bucharest...but he's also an amazing artist. He collects magazines, clips out pictures, and makes some very funny and politically incisive collages. Of course, he started doing this under Ceaucescu's regime, so it's probably better that he was known (or unknown) as a drunk living in garbage rather than a subversive artist (not just for mocking the communists, but for embracing the decadent Western pop art). But the happy ending is that his art is discovered by a gallery owner who takes him under his wing and gets him showings all over Europe, where he is celebrated. Well, I guess that's better than living in garbage, but Ion is still very much his own man. He speaks about making his collages just to amuse himself, and while that would sound a little phony coming from any other artist, you have to believe it coming from him.

Due to a technical glitch, the accompanying short, A LOST AND FOUND BOX OF HUMAN EMOTION didn't play before ION B. It played after. And it was awesome--A sci-fi CGI adventure metaphor for going through grief after a father's death.

So then I caught a fascinating biopic, NANNERL MOZART'S SISTER. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's big sister, Maria Anna (nicknamed Nannerl), was also a musical prodigy. She traveled Europe as a child performing with him. She was hailed for her young virtuosity, but her star never rose like her brother's because she was a...she. In the time, and in the mind of her father, certain pursuits simply weren't appropriate for the delicate female sensibility--like composing or playing the violin (she was great at the violin, but her father forced her onto the harpsichord). This movie (which has U.S. distribution thanks to Music Box Films) follows her through a very important formative time. She's sixteen, just blossoming into womanhood. While staying at an Abbey while getting their coach fixed, she meets and befriends a princess of France. Later, while delivering a letter she meets the Dauphin of France, and they become quite close. In fact, if he had been allowed to marry whomever he wanted (or had the loose morals of his father and felt no qualms about keeping a mistress) they might've been very happy together. But alas her story is far more a tragedy. In the closing crawl, the rest of her life is summarized, including her efforts until her death at age 78 to collect all of her brother's work for posterity. It appears that much of what we know of Wolfgang Mozart is due to her efforts, and it's nice that we now have this movie to preserve her story. And for the record, I don't care how accurate or not the film is, it's still a moving story.

The next program started with the short film MENISCUS. Skin. Mitosis with cells made of human bodies. Bodies stacked on bodies until they explode through the ground and out of a tree. The circle of life, in all it's fleshy and spiritual glory. I don't really know what it was about, but it sure was purty.

And that led into SMALL TOWN MURDER SONGS, starring Peter Stormare as I've never seen him before. He's Walter, a sheriff in a small town of Port Beach, Ontario. Mostly Mennonites there, so it's a quiet town where not much happens. Or didn't, until a naked dead girl is found. Cops from the city are brought in, and he's quickly over his head. But it's not really a whodunnit. Not at all. It's really a story of Walter's violent past and his new religious devotion. And I don't want to give more away. It's beautifully shot and acted, and although the ending was maybe a little too tidy, it's still a very rewarding viewing.

Then I caught a really cool horror treat, MIDNIGHT SON. Without an origin back story (which I like), Jacob is going through some changes. He works night, because he is so sensitive to sunlight that it literally burns him. He eats constantly, but his body is failing him as if he's malnourished, or maybe anemic. Okay, there's no surprise that he's a vampire succumbing to the hunger for blood. But the journey there is smartly done and cool as hell. He meets and falls in love with Mary. He scores blood from a pusher working in a local hospital. He has a showing of his art--paintings of the sun. And he struggles with being good despite his hunger. In fact, I don't think the word "vampire" was ever spoken. There's no underground society or secret world. It's just a guy dealing with changes coming from within his body--same as any guy dealing with disease, or puberty, or addiction. Vampirism has been used as metaphors for all of that before. In fact, I've heard it said that the Vampire is the most used monster character in the history of film (BTW, see the very beginning of that history with NOSFERATU next Friday). MIDNIGHT SON shows once again that the vampire is a character that with a smart script and great acting can still hold a mirror up to humanity and show us something new.

And finally, I ended the night with Shorts 6: DOCU-NATION. Interestingly, very little in the program fits what I think of when I think, 'documentary short.' But an interesting, eclectic collection nonetheless.

AMERICAN HOMES: Cool line drawings and voice-over ruminations on the nature and importance of architecture take us through a history of dwelling in America (going back well before Europeans settled there).

BIKE RACE: Saw it at Indiefest. What I said at the time is still true: "Belgian Eddy and American Lance (not Eddy Merckx and Lance Armstrong) compete in a bike race, the Tour de Force, which becomes a race for the love of Eddy's girlfriend."

THE COMMUTE: The travels of an American wrestler on tour in Japan, and the family (wife and young daughter) he Skypes with at home.

THE NORTH CAPE: A beautiful look at the wonders of nature in Norway. Shot triple-wide for a tourist center's special theater. Cinequest needs to put in a triple-wide screen to accommodate it. Or better yet, I need to go to Norway and see it there.

THE STITCHES SPEAK: And they tell stories of refugees in India and Pakistan.

TINCITY: A Hungarian hillside town. Kind of slummy looking, but there's some surprising depth (and wine cellars) in the hills.

TUSSILAGO: I saw it at SF International last year. What I said at the time: "In 1977 Norbert Kröcher was arrested for plotting the assassination of a German politician. This movie explores the role of his ex-girlfriend, still traumatized by the aftermath." Correction: it was a Swedish politician, and they planned her kidnapping, not assassination. And I didn't even mention the fascinating visuals using a sort of graphic design/rotoscoping collage form. Wow, I really screwed that up the first time!

And so that's the first weekend in the books. Just a reminder, SAMUEL BLEAK is the worst movie I've ever seen at Cinequest.

Total Running Time: 474

My Total Minutes: 226,588

Jason goes to Cinequest--Day 5

First up was the program SHORTS 1: EXPECTATIONS. Here's the rundown.
CAPTURE THE FLAG: A few families get together for a weekend to party. One of the highlights is the game of capture the flag. One girl is one of the best, but maybe she's also getting a bit too old for it.
DESPAIR: Bryce Dallas Howard in the most colorful suicide film ever.
DRY: Part of the Theatre Junkies "Moments" series. Literally so quick blink and you miss it. I remember there was a really, really quick film, but for the life of me I can't remember what happened. Doesn't matter, this non-review review is already longer than the film.
LICKED: A couple of little girls do what they have to do to get money for ice cream.
LIV: A cute little girl pulls a few pranks on her daddy's boyfriend (I think that's the relationship. Actually the program started a few minutes early so I missed the beginning. I walked in as she was sticking her finger in his cake)
SUMMER DAYS ARE LONGER: A Mexican family on a hot summer day, with ice cream.
LOS GRITONES: It's fun screaming from the rooftops, just make sure you don't scream something stupid like "¡Te Quiero!"
MAM: A young boy takes care of his family, since their mom is too strung out to do anything.
RACHEL: A young woman takes the bus to El Paso to meet a recruiter and join the Army. Bad things happen on the way. It's her desperate struggle to be strong.
THE SAME OLD STORY: People overhear a heart breaking/warming cell phone conversation on the bus. Best film of the program.
WONDERBOY: A young college boy, trying to escape his violent drug past/friends with his education, has a little problem--his professor won't pay him for the pot he delivered.

The next program started with another Theatre Junkies moment, RUN. This time I kept my eyes open, and TJ Thyne runs a little bit, a dog barks, he jumps off screen, and the movie ends.

That was an odd lead-in for FALLING OVERNIGHT, a wonderful film that takes its time drawing you in. Elliot is about to go into surgery for his brain tumor. He meets Chloe and goes to her photography show, mostly as a distraction. He couldn't possibly be thinking of falling in love, what with not really knowing if he'll survive tomorrow, and even then if he'll survive 5 years beyond that. But sometimes things just sort of happen. And that's sort of the dynamic of the night--just letting things happen. There's no big maudlin moment like, 'I'm going to live for today because I might be dead tomorrow. Tonight is all that matters!' or 'I can't start a romance, I might die soon!" In fact, he doesn't tell her until the next morning. Of course, the audience knows it, and so you can see it in every little hesitant moment. It's like a privileged view of the early moments in a potential romance when both parties are holding something back. You get to know exactly what he's holding back. It's fantastic for the very real, natural feel. There's not a single false moment in the entire movie.

So next I saw SHORTS 2: SLANTED

AUTUMN MAN: Some small time Swedish thugs have a very bad day. After they're robbed, one just wants a cup of coffee, one wants to start reading poetry...by Dostoevsky. Each has just about the same amount of success.

THE DIVE: A young man bartender working in a seaside town has an opportunity to go to medical school. But he can't get over the man who broke his family apart. Especially when that man walks into the bar.

HARD SILENCE: An extremely creepy story of pornography and mothers abusing daughters. Gross...and powerful.

HOLLOW: A couple of junkies try to get clean. They try every month, but when they find out she's pregnant they try extra, extra hard.

TAPEWORM: A funny and nauseating look at young girls' body issues and eating disorders.

So then I made a last minute decision, since the people introducing all the films had been pushing the World Premiere of SAMUEL BLEAK, I decide to see it. Worst last minute decision of my life. It's a veritable crap-ucopia of cliched drivel that's as emotionally empty as it is manipulative. Samuel Bleak ran away from home when he was 8, and hid in the woods for 15 years, where apparently his hair turned into a cheap looking fright wig. He's discovered and brought to the hospital. He's a mute who carries his mom's old typewriter around (although the ink in the ribbon ran out years ago). His father is a violent drunk who probably killed his mother. By the time he gets to the mental institution I was thinking to myself, 'We're just waiting for 3 things--he'll bone the hot patient, kill his father, and finally speak, saying something incredibly profound!' Spoiler alert: I was 3 for 3. What I couldn't predict is it would have groan-inducing scenes like his father smashing the typewriter and Samuel putting the keys together to spell "MOTHER." Awful, awful, awful!!! I have seen so many movies at Cinequest (this year and others) where the writer, director, and actors put in tons of effort to make sure the emotional reactions are true. Writer/director/actor Dustin Schuetter takes a giant crap over the very thought of putting in such work.

In fact, SAMUEL BLEAK was soooo bad, I wanted to see a good movie, like...PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. So I did. I saw the World Premiere of the 3D version of PLAN 9. Yes, it's laughably bad. Yes, it's colorized. Yes, it's 3D. That's not the way Ed Wood shot it, but I'm sure he would approve. This I'm sure is the movie as he always meant to make it. And yes, I did show up dressed as Vampira. No I don't have pictures. But I'm sure there are plenty on the Internet now.

SAMUEL BLEAK is still the worst damn movie I've seen at Cinequest. I think I'll end every one of my posts that way. At least this year.

And finally I saw HAIR OF THE BEAST. A costume drama with werewolves. Too much costume drama, not enough werewolves. Actually it was pretty fun, if it took a long time for the monsters to actually show up. A condemned man in 17th century Montreal escapes and steals the identity of a priest who is famous for slaying werewolves. And then he stumbles into a town constantly on the lookout for werewolves, where he's greeted as a savior. And of course, wacky hijinx ensue. And it includes the best backstory ever for how werewolves were created in the first place.

And that was how the first Saturday of Cinequest 2011 ended.

SAMUEL BLEAK is still the worst damn movie I've ever seen at Cinequest (and I've been doing this for 10 years).

Total Running Time: 578 minutes
My Total Minutes: 226,114