Of course, when it came out last year it was called THE NUTCRACKER IN 3D, but since no one saw it they changed the name on DVD to THE NUTCRACKER: THE UNTOLD STORY. They should have gone with THE NUTCRACKER: THE UNWATCHABLE STORY. Here's all you need to know: Nathan Lane (using his worst German accent) as Albert Einstein, singing about relativity with his god-daughter and god-son (um, yeah...Einstein was Jewish, but he could still be their godfather). Then a bunch of crap happens, a nutcracker dressed as Napoleon comes alive, John Turturro is the Rat King, but I don't give a rat's ass.
I have a horrible feeling this will become a War On Christmas tradition at Bad Movie Night. Shit. You know, it's bad enough waking up with a massive hangover, but then you remember that you were so drunk you watched this piece of crap, and you just want to die.
Running Time: 110 minutes
My Total Minutes: 257,491