Jason goes to the Hypnodrome and sees "The Room"

Another Dead Channels White Hot n' Warped Wednesday last night. This one featuring Tommy Wiseau's "The Room", billed as either the worst movie ever or so bad it's secretly brilliant.

Oh, but first we had a rousing sing-along of "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the player piano. And apparently I'm so (in)famous for singing along that they brought me up on stage to help lead it. Awesome, now I know I've arrived! But for the record, I also can't sing, so anyone who heard me last night, I'm truly, truly sorry.

Okay, as for the movie, Wiseau himself plays Johnny, the perfect adoring boyfriend who is engaged to Lisa. He's a relatively successful banker and buys Lisa lots of gifts. Problem is, she doesn't love him, and starts an affair with his best friend Mark. Lisa's mother Claudette keeps telling her how great Johnny is and how she can't survive on her own. And there's a weird orphan boy Denny who's always hanging out (his story provides more background on what a great guy Johnny is). Now the problems: the acting is atrocious and the sex scenes are revolting. Nothing happens for the longest time, when it does it's unsatisfying, and Johnny is just too ugly and stupid to be a leading man (and his long hair prevents him from being a believable banker). Thank God there was plenty of beer at the screening. And thank God I didn't pass out on the BART on my way home.

Anyway, this was billed as possibly so bad it's brilliant. And Dead Channels programmer Bruce can comment if he wants to. But the crux of his argument, as best I could understand it, is that it might be intentionally frustrating. It gives the audience nothing to hang on to, it has no sense of time (one day the wedding's a month off, the next minute they're all in tuxedos, then the wedding is still a long way off, but Lisa is throwing a surprise party for Johnny's birthday). But if you watch it all the way through it infects you on a subliminal level (in Bruce's words, "The Videodrome signal is embedded in there"). Maybe, but I kind of hope not. I don't want this crap sticking around in my brain. But I do get a perverse sense of glee knowing I survived "The Room".