Jason watches RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE

At a special sneak preview showcasing the San Francisco Landmark Theatres' new calendar. Lots of cool stuff coming up, but last Thursday was all about this twisted Christmas flick from Finland. The locals are pissed about the crazy American corporation that is drilling for archaeological relics in their mountain. But if they thought it was bad that they were disturbing the wolves and ruining the reindeer hunt (oh yeah, the heroes are reindeer hunters), just wait until they unearth the most amazing Christmas legend ever. You see, the Santa Claus created by Coca-Cola wasn't the real one. The real one was a demon who wasn't so interested in giving children presents, he was more interested in punishing naughty children. And now he's back. Pretty awesome, although I will say I wanted a bit more of a reveal at the end. Although to say anything more would be too much of a spoiler.

Running Time: 80 minutes

My Total Minutes: 216,210

Jason watches THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET'S NEST

I've now finished the movie version of Stieg Larsson's "Millenium" trilogy, just as I've started reading the first one. This one picks up right where THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE left off. Lisbeth is in the hospital and awaiting trial for three murders just as soon as she's well enough. This time Mikael Blomkvist is working to save her. There's less physical action in this movie, so it's a tribute to the full, rich characters Larsson created (and to Noomi Rapace's performance) that a story that takes place mostly in her mind and her motivations is still gripping. In order to win her trial, she has to let go and open up about her traumatic past. My favorite scene is simply her totally punked-up appearance in court. Not just because she looks bad-ass, but because of the psychological implications--she's putting on a form of armor so that she can be vulnerable in public. Just brilliant.

Running Time: 147 minutes

My Total Minutes: 216,130

Jason goes to the Niles Film Museum for BLOCK-HEADS and MALICE IN THE PALACE

The monthly Afternoon with the Boys was part of our Vernon Dent weekend, celebrating the release of Bill Cassara's new book VERNON DENT: STOOGE HEAVY.

First up, MALICE IN THE PALACE (1949), one of my favorite stooge flicks, and probably my favorite Shemp. Vernon Dent plays "Hassan Ben Sober" in this goofy caper where the stooges run a restaurant and come across a plot to steal Rootin Tootin's diamond. A bit of trivia, Curly (who was recovering from a stroke) was supposed to play the cook, making this one of the very few 3 Stooges movies with 4 stooges (the only one is HOLD THAT LION, where Curly plays an uncredited sleeping passenger on a train and does his trademark snoozing noises). There was even production material made advertising it but ultimately he was too weak to stay in the film, so Larry filled in as the cook, and did a fine job. Get it? Larry...did a Fine job? Ha! I'm hilarious!

Then, after a brief intermission, the feature was BLOCK-HEADS (1938): Stan is the kind of loyal but not-too-bright WWI soldier that when he's told to guard the trench while everyone else attacks, he does just that until he's relieved. 30 years later, he shoots down an aviator that he mistakes for a German, and he learns the war is over. His old war pal Ollie sees his picture in the paper and goes to visit him. Ollie is now happily married, by which I mean he's totally whipped and lives in fear of his wife. Stan causes all sorts of problems, culminating in blowing up the kitchen and getting into a little trouble with the neighbor's wife, Mrs. Gilbert (in a setup that's copied from their earlier WE FAW DOWN (1928)). Very funny.

Total Running Time: 73 minutes

My Total Minutes: 215,983

Jason watches DUE DATE

And it's just...not...very...good. No chemistry between the stars, I never really cared about either of them. There was one drug scene that was visually engaging, but that's about the only part of the movie that's at all memorable. It not only slows down my process of becoming a Zach Galifianakis fan, it also somewhat diminished my fandom of Robert Downey, Jr.

Running Time: 100 minutes

My Total Minutes: 215,910

Jason goes to the Bal Theatre for a Buster Keaton double feature

This was my first time at the Bal Theatre in San Leandro, and I love finding new theaters. And this, of course, was a great way to get acquainted with this beautiful old theater.

I won't say much about these movies, they're the Buster Keaton classics THE GENERAL (the epic about the Civil War where Keaton plays a Southern engineer who saves his train, his girl, and his town from the Union Army) and STEAMBOAT BILL, JR. (where Keaton is the weak college-boy son of a tough Steamboat captain and he saves everyone from a major storm). They're hilarious, they feature Keaton's fantastic acrobatic comedy, and they make for a great night. If you haven't seen them, see them as soon as you can (preferably on the big screen, but of course they're available on DVD).

Matt Hoffman made his debut accompanying silent films, and he did a fantastic job.

As a matter of honesty and completeness, I do have to mention that the aspect ratio was wrong for this screening. I talked to the theater owner and this was due to their 1080p projector being broken (due to a failed firmware update), but I'm assured it will be fixed...soon, so future shows should be right. It still looked good even with the standard projector, but film geeks like me noticed the aspect ratio was off.

Total Running Time: 177 minutes

My Total Minutes: 215,810

Jason goes to Jewfest South--Wednesday, Nov 10

One double feature last Wednesday, let's do this quickly.

First up, LEAVING THE FOLD, a fascinating documentary about Jews who were brought up ultra-orthodox, but have decided to leave. We meet several of them, and I certainly at least half-understand their motives. I was never ultra-orthodox anything (never even religious anything), and love the freedom to try new ideas and constantly refine/redefine the way I understand the world. But the most interesting character is actually the father who sees both his sons walk away from the faith. What's interesting is how he doesn't react with anger or ultimatums. He's disappointed, but still loves his sons, still has them over for Sabbath dinner, and makes a remarkably intelligent case both for the orthodox lifestyle and for treating loved ones who leave the fold with respect and love, all the while hoping, praying, and trying to convince them to come back.

And the second half of the show was GUT SHABBES, VIETNAM. Rabbi Menachem Hartman is from the Chabad-Lubavich movement. They send rabbis all over the world, no matter how remote. As long as they know some Jews live there, they will send someone to live there and bring them back to the fold. And that's how Rabbi Hartman, his wife Racheli, and his baby son Levi moved to Ho Chi Minh City. Immediate culture clashes, of course, but they carry the faith, find the local Jews, and start teaching and cooking kosher. It's just a weird experience, and oddly a demonstration of just how adaptable Jewish traditions can be to just about any culture.

Total Running Time: 105 minutes

My Total Minutes: 215,633

Jason goes to Jewfest South--Sunday, November 7

Two more movies last Sunday, starting with the hilarious British comedy, THE INFIDEL. Omid Dalili plays Mahmud, a moderate Muslim living in England, watching soccer, running his shipping company, and taking care of his family. He hates radical cleric Arshad El Masri, who is currently touring England. Things are a little rough when his son wants to marry a girl who turns out to be El Masri's stepdaughter, but he plays nice and pretends he's more devout than he really is. But things get really strange when he clears out his recently deceased mother's house and finds adoption papers. A little sleuthing reveals his birth name--Solly Shimshilewitz (might as well have been Jewy Jewy Jewsteinfeldbergfarb...owitz). He starts obsessing about his hated Jewish roots (hey, he's self-loathing, he's already a Jewish stereotype!) Now maybe it's just me, but if I learned I was adopted and actually had a vastly different heritage, I wouldn't think too much about it. I'm what I (and my family and friends) have made myself, and no accident of birth will change that. And maybe Mahmud/Solly would reach that conclusion on his own in short order, but he finds that his birth father is a) still alive, b) on death's door, and c) guarded by a rabbi who won't lett Solly/Mahmud see him until he's "Jewish enough." So he turns to his neighbor/erstwhile enemy Lenny (Richard Schiff) to teach him how to be Jewish. Of course, what with balancing his Jewish identity and newly radical Muslim identity causes wacky hijinx to ensue. The ending is a little cheesy, but ultimately a defense of moderation and an indictment of phonies. But who really cares about the message, the point is it's a really funny movie.

And the second movie I saw was LOVE LIFE, a graphically erotic Israeli movie. A young, studious but uncertain, married woman develops a mysterious obsession with an old family friend. Apparently he was her dad's best friend back in the day, but her mom is very uncomfortable around him. She tries to stay away, she always goes back, he treats her like dirt, then tenderly, then like dirt again. And along the way she uncovers a troubling family secret. Fantastic acting. Usually these movies kind of bug me. I don't get why the woman would keep coming back to the man who is so obviously a bad idea. And I still felt a lot of that, but at least the excellent acting made me believe her.

And that was a week ago Sunday at south Jewfest.

Total Running Time: 218 minutes

My Total Minutes: 215,316