THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (1982): First up was this painfully sincere while also very funny remake of director Boaz Davidson's Israeli teen boner comedy classic LEMON POPSICLE (1978.) The Israeli version--based somewhat on Davidson's own experiences growing up--spawned (pun intended) eight sequels, while the American version, released between PORKY'S and FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH had none, and is largely forgotten. But I'd put THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN up against any of them for comedy, and light-years ahead for sincerity, pathos, drama, controversy (minor spoiler, but there's an unintended pregnancy that is dealt with) and the absolute misery that it is to be a raging mound of teenage hormones.
FAST FOOD (1989): And then there was this...whatever it was. A PG-13 not-very-funny comedy starring Traci Lords and Jim Varney in one of his rare non-Ernest roles. Jim is arguably the best thing about the movie. That needs to be repeated...Jim Varney...not playing the role of Ernest...is the best thing about this movie. And you would think in a movie about a gas station turned burger joint with a secret sauce made from a potion that turns people uncontrollably horny would have something better going for it. Maybe if it wasn't PG-13.
Total Running Time: 184 minutes
My Total Minutes: 372,731