Jason enter the Cinema Zone for some cheap blockbuster rip-offs

THE MAN WHO SAVES THE WORLD (aka TURKISH STAR WARS, 1982): I had always heard about the crazily permissive Turkish copyright laws, and how it results in bizarre movies that take a famous character and very little else (like the Turkish SPIDER-MAN, where Spider-Man is the villain.) Well, now I've finally seen one of them, and I can't unsee it. It steals a lot of actual footage from Star Wars, just spliced together out of order and without any of the main characters. Instead, you've got two guys running around in the desert fighting against some evil monsters...with the Indiana Jones theme playing the whole time. There were no subtitles, but I don't think it would have made any difference.

MAC AND ME (1988): By this time I was the only customer left, so it was a private screening for me, Mike Keegan (holy cow! It was Mike and Me!) and our lovely bartender Kae (thank you for the world tour of hot chocolate and liquor!) I knew about this movie only through Paul Rudd's running gag on Conan O'brien. After seeing the movie, I can tell you that Paul Rudd's running gag is the best thing about it. An E.T. ripoff financed by McDonald's and featuring the creepy alien hidden in a teddy bear dancing in a McDonald's. It also ends with the whole alien family becoming U.S. citizens, and I just can't believe that. Americans welcoming immigrants, that would never happen!

Total Running Time: 190 minutes
My Total Minutes: 374,452