Jason watched 47 RONIN

I've already tweeted most of what I want to say about it:

I think I can say without hyperbole that 47 RONIN is the worst thing the U.S. has done to Japan...ever.
— Jason Wiener (@puppymeat) December 28, 2013

But that aside, let me say that Keanu Reeves is not the problem with the movie. Many people have seen the trailers and immediately dismissed this is 'Keanu Reeves: White Samurai.' Well, his character is written as a half-breed, son of an Englishman and a Japanese peasant girl and...he is not wrong for that (if you ignore the fact that his character was written especially for this movie and wasn't a part of the traditional 47 ronin story.) No, Keanu is not what's bad about the movie, and that says a lot. The movie dooms itself from the beginning by reeking of self-importance, starting with insisting that the story of the 47 ronin is the story of all of Japan. And apparently that story involves lots of CGI monster effects and Japanese actors speaking in broken English. Which is just something that bothers me to no end. Why the heck would you make a movie about Japan, cast all but one role with Japanese actors, and have them all speak English. Just speak Japanese (dub Keanu if you have to) and subtitle the damn thing. Or if you need to have English fill in for Japanese, make it unaccented English. No offense to the Japanese actors who made an admirable effort, but there are plenty of great Japanese-American actors who could have done a great job with an English-language Japanese story (and who wouldn't want to see George Takei as the Shogun?) It was just ill-conceived all the way.

Running Time: 119 minutes
My Total Minutes: 347,903