Last Sunday night, I had the option of staying at Docfest or heading to Cinema By The Bay for CXL. But like an idiot, I chose Bad Movie Night and KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (aka KISS in ATTACK OF THE PHANTOMS) just because they let me sit in the front row and put a microphone in my hand. I repeat--like an idiot.
At least some of the KISS army were there. Apparently the three hosts were the only ones there as Anthony Zerbe fans. Zerbe is, of course, a well respected character actor who plays the villain Abner Devereaux, ride designer and animatronic genius. In fact, he's such a genius he can turn real people into his animatronic slaves just by soldering a single resistor on his neck. And for the record, the stupid part of the movie is that KISS has super powers. The Demon (Gene Simmons) breathes fire. Star Child (Paul Stanley) can...hear what people are saying far away by looking with his star eye? Space Ace (Ace Frehley) can teleport. And Cat Man (Peter Criss) has the power of being a giant pussy.
So that made for a pretty weird night. But I'm proud that I could be mildly funny without being drunk, and I don't think I was a complete asshole. I even refrained from making a racist comment about Ace Frehley's obviously African-American stunt double (for the record, the joke I was thinking but didn't say was, "Look! It's a Hershey's KISS!")
Running Time: 96 minutes
My Total Minutes: 303,669