Thursday, September 27, 2012

Jason watches DREDD 3-D

I...must...avoid...calling it, "Dredd-ful."

So while I was in the theater, and still had my 3-D glasses from FINDING NEMO, I went ahead and snuck into this. I want my money back.

Seriously, this is lacking in the subtlety, wit, and social relevance of the Sylvester Stallone version. And that's a sentence I thought would never be constructed unless I somehow got my shot-for-shot remake of the entire Rambo series starring a poop-flinging gorilla off the ground.  ("The threw first turd!")

Judge Dredd (Karl Urban, not that it matters since he never takes his helmet off) takes a rookie (Olivia Thirlby) on her first mission. The rookie actually scored a few points below a passing grade on her exams, but she was passed by special order because...she's a psychic. That's also a reason for her to not wear her helmet, because it interferes with her psychic powers. Anyway, they respond to a call about three guys who were skinned and thrown from the top of a 200-story apartment complex. There they find the whole complex is controlled by a ruthless ex-prostitute turned drug lord, Ma Ma. Then a lot of violence happens.

Oh yeah, and the drug is called "slo-mo." Which is really an excuse to use ridiculously slow motion 3-D shots to show the effect of the drug. It's all an unpleasant exercise in overly stylized, beautiful, violent gore. Now, I'm a fan of beautiful gore, but call me an old fuddy-duddy because I like my violent gore to have brains that aren't just smeared across the ground (and wall, and stairs, and everywhere.)

This movie takes place in a dystopian world where America is an irradiated wasteland except for Mega-cities behind (presumably radiation shielded) walls. Mega-City 1 stretches from Boston to New York. It's full of crime, poverty, desperation, and the judges of the League of Justice keep order. But if you really wanted to depict a dystopia, create a world where the only movie you can watch is DREDD 3-D.

Running Time: 95 minutes
My Total Minutes: 298,392

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