Monday, March 26, 2012

Jason slips into a Vortex and steps in some DEEP SHAT

Oh yeah, my favorite underground film club did an all-night event for William Shatner's birthday. Lots of clips, commercials, weirdness. Lots and lots of Shatner "singing." An all-Shatner version of SEVEN. And some pretty weird Shatner TV guest-starring moments.

First up, Shatner guest stars on "The Six Million Dollar Man" as an astronaut who is exposed to an electrical field that gives him amazing mental powers, including the ability to talk to dolphins. But the best part is when he tells Steve Austin that with his (Steve Austin's) bionics and his (Shatner's) brain, they're like the start of a new race. I'm pretty sure the subtext was Shatner asking Lee Majors to make babies with him.

Okay...so more clips and weirdness, and then the Shatner episode of "Mission: Impossible." Shatner plays the right-hand man to a coke-smuggling kingpin. Of course, the good guys turn him all around, make him double cross his boss, and take everyone down.

Then more weirdness, and then the Shatner episode of "Columbo." Shatner plays, of all things, a TV star. But not just any star, the star of the most popular detective show on TV. Of course, Columbo is a big fan. And it's pretty bizarre to watch Shatner "in character" as a detective deduce that it must have been himself (the actor) who murdered his own manager (and former lover.)

Then just a bit more weirdness, and finally the movie PRAY FOR THE WILDCATS. Shatner as a washed up ad executive, going on a motorcycle trip to Baja with one last client. That client--a slightly psychotic Andy Griffith. Wow!

And after all that, it was about 3:30 am, so I just waited a little longer, had another drink, and caught the first early morning BART home at 4:19. And engaged in the greatest philosophical conundrum of our age--if Robert Mitchum had been cast as Captain Kirk instead of William Shatner, who then would play Spock? (Okay, we were all pretty wasted by then.)

Total Running Time: 330 minutes (with no breaks, although of course I got up to get more drinks a few times)
My Total Minutes: 274,942
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