Jason watches SHEvil Dead

Way back in 2004, the Primitive Screwheads won my heart and soaked my undies (perhaps I should rephrase that...nah!) with their first show, Evil Dead Live, a comic adaptation of the famous horror/comedy trilogy. What they lacked in production value, they more than made up with using a combination of insanity and tons of fake blood, sprayed all over the audience. Over the years, that insanity has stayed, although a few of their shows have eschewed the blood. Seems it's getting harder and harder for them to actually rent a show space in the city--too many people know how much of a mess they make.

Well, after a bit of an absence, the blood is back! And they're back to their roots, once again going after the EVIL DEAD trilogy, but this time with an awesome, sexy twist--an all-female cast. An excellent excuse to have some fun with party girls alone in a cabin. They fight, they love, they make fun of Bruce Campbell. Julie Antti is just excellent as Ash(ley). And I don't mean to be a pervert, but her possessed hand scene was aaaawesome...definitely the best part that didn't involve me getting soaked with blood.

Oh, and as always, thank you for aiming at me as much as possible! I love you guys, too.

My only miscalculation is that I chose to see this last Friday night, which I didn't realize was the start of Yom Kippur. I'm not very Jewish (or even legally Jewish, as only my dad is Jewish), but for some reason I still fast on Yom Kippur (and break the fast with a big pile of bacon). So possibly for the first time ever I saw their show sober. I'm happy to confirm that their show still rocks sober. But I might have to make time to see it drunk, too...you know just as a control experiment.

Jason goes to the Niles Film Museum for a night of action films

First, a word of warning, if you're planning to go to the Comedy Shorts Night next Saturday, be aware that a large tour group has already bought out nearly half the theater, and Comedy Shorts are always popular. So buy early. Tickets are available via the Paypal link on this page.

Now, to last night's movies.

LEATHER PUSHERS: ROUND 2 (1922): Reginald Denny in an episode of a boxing serial he did. Helpfully, his manager gets the entire audience up to speed. He was a college student and athlete, when his father fell on hard times and he quit college and took up boxing to raise money. But it hasn't quite worked out, as he has a bit of a feud with his former manager. Plus, he's trying to impress/afford his fiancee, although she doesn't like such brutish behavior. And now he's got a fight with the champ. Nice, fast paced action.

SWORD POINTS (1928): Lupino Lane...I really should watch more of Lupino Lane. Very funny, kind of surreal, very physical comedy. In this parody of the Three Musketeers, Lane is a swordsman who crosses some enemies of the king (including his brother Wallace Lupino. Some hectic hi-jinks in a wine cellar, and a discovery that the inn is full of secret passages move the comedy along, but it's always powered by Lupino Lane's amazing physical comedy. Hilarious.

Then after a brief intermission, our feature.

LET'S GO (1923): Richard Talmadge (no relation to the Talmadge sisters) stars and does all his own stunts (the title cards make that very clear) in this story of the some of a cement salesman sent to a small town to track down why the mayor hasn't paid for the paving supplies. Even getting there involves stunts escaping from the cops (who want him for speeding). He climbs and jumps off buildings, cars, trains, etc. And that's just to get the story started. Once he gets to town there's even more chasing and high jump stunts, as we discover the mayor is corrupt, and the kindly sheriff is in danger of losing his job. Of course, Talmadge will save the day (with yet more stunts) and set everything right. And lest you think this movie is nothing but stunts, there's plenty of comedy (especially with the bloodhounds) and a nice romance (with the sheriff's daughter). Lots of fun.

Total Running Time (estimated): 150 minutes

My Total Minutes: 249,940

Jason slips into a Vortex and sees THE DEVIL'S RAIN

6 weeks of Satan at the Vortex, for $6.66. Kicked off last Thursday. Like usual, I didn't stick around for the late show because I had to catch BART home, but the opening film was insane enough. THE DEVIL'S RAIN.

William Shatner vs. a rural American Satantic cult led by Ernest Borgnine, 'nuf said? I hope it's 'nuf said, because I was four Manhattans to the wind and don't remember much beyond that. Oh yeah, the rain melted some people, and allegedly John Travolta was in there somewhere, too.

Running Time: 86 minutes

My Total Minutes: 249,790

Jason watches THE LION KING in 3D

There's something about Disney bastardizing one of its greatest classics and trying to capitalize on the 3-D bandwagon that feels a little slimy. Slimy, but satisfying.

THE LION KING is arguably the apex of Disney's traditional (i.e., pre-Pixar) animation. I love this movie. So just seeing it again on the big screen was a treat. 'Nuf said.

The 3-D ranged from seamless to pointless. Yeah, it's well done. No, it doesn't add anything. And it often feels out of place with the inherently 2-D traditional animation. Yeah, I was curious to see how the 3-D would work, and I don't regret seeing it in 3-D. But I would've preferred seeing it in 2-D (but I think I knew that going in).

Running Time: 89 minutes

My Total Minutes: 249,704

Jason watches MYSTERIES OF LISBON

I don't know what it is, but for some reason this year I've been really attracted to 4+ hour epics. Perhaps that's the closest I'll ever get to a long-term relationship.

Anyway, this movie is an adaptation of a novel, and is centered around Joao, an orphan raised by kindly father Dinis. He doesn't know his parents, but when his mother returns to town he learns he's the bastard child of an ill-fated romance of nobles. His father was noble but too poor to please his mother's father, and so they were forbidden to marry. But that's just the start of the story. Turns out nearly no one in the movie is what they appear to be, and their identities are always changing. A crude, belching assassin can turn into a nobleman, a gypsy can become a priest, etc. And like most long, leisurely stories, as much as anything it's about the simple joy of telling stories. Each character (or at least, each main character) gets a chance to tell his or her story. And they're told mostly in a playful, straight-forward, almost classical way. No special effects, just costumes, sets, dialogue, and acting putting the story front and center. If it weren't for the digital video, I could be convinced this was made 50 years ago.

And that brings me to my big gripe. Not that it was shot digitally, but that the projection where I saw it in the Camera 3 just wasn't up to the task. I know I handicap myself by sitting way up front, but the resolution was poor enough to be distracting, and far too often I caught myself counting pixels (the lines of the letters of the subtitles were only 3 pixels wide. I couldn't believe it). This is the sort of thing that I can normally forgive and look through. But it just seemed out of place here. Like the rest of the elements of the movie were so good, that it deserved a better projection. Maybe 5-10 years ago I would've forgiven it, but I've seen too many good digital projections since then and now the sad fact is it too often took me out of the movie.

Running Time: 272 minutes

My Total Minutes: 249,615

Jason goes to Bad Movie Night and watches NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3-D

Zombie month begins. Ironically, this movie was totally lacking braaaains!

Supposedly both an homage and a re-imagining of Romero's classic, this movie instead shits all over the grave of the original NOTLD. And if there's one grave you don't want to shit all over, it's a zombie's grave. Even gratuitous nudity couldn't make this movie worthwhile. And if you're going to dim the audience's vision with those shitty glasses, why shoot the whole thing in darkness? You know what pitch blackness looks like in 3-D? The same thing it looks like in 2-D, pitch blackness!

Sid Haig is still cool, though.

Running Time: 80 minutes

My Total Minutes: 249,343

Jason watches MONEYBALL

And while I can appreciate the good acting and interesting characters, I honestly have no idea what it's about.

Maybe it's living here in the Bay Area and being painfully aware that as much attention as the A's got in the early 2000's, they didn't win any championships. Maybe it's general disillusionment with the moneyball concept (or dilution--how well does it work when everyone does it). Perhaps it's the ham-fisted metaphor at the end that's supposed to show how even though Billy Beane never won he changed the game and can't even see how much of winner that makes him. Or perhaps it's the ridiculous postscript that the Red Sox won the World Series by adopting a lot of the moneyball principles. Hooray, moneyball allowed the team with the second highest payroll in baseball to beat the team with the highest payroll! (and if you don't know that's the Yankees, then just leave now).

But still, even if the central premise falls apart, it's an amusing movie with some interesting characters. And the contrast of "old baseball" (elderly scouts judging a player because his girlfriend is ugly, indicating lack of confidence) with the new guys using math and computer models to build a team around the most undervalued players is interesting. It's just that the drama happens to be hamstrung by reality. Which is kind of just as well, in all the movie the scenes that really slow it down are the actual baseball scenes. Leave it to baseball to make math and computer modeling look exciting.

Running Time: 133 minutes

My Total Minutes: 249,263