Jason previews upcoming event--Zombie Strippers, Starslyderz, and oh yeah, the big Film Festival.

This one is for my loyal, local readers, let's look at what's going on movie-wise in the bay area.

In my previous post, I mentioned "Body of War" is opening tomorrow (April 18), and Ellen Spiro and Phil Donahue will be at the 4:45 show at the Clay on Saturday, and the 4:50 show at the Shattuck on Sunday.

But I can tell some of you aren't interested in a moving anti-war documentary. I hear a deafening roar of people crying out for a horror-comedy about zombie strippers--based on a classic French existential Theatre of the Absurd play Rhinoceros by Eugene Ionesco--starring Robert Englund and Jenna Jameson. If your voice is part of that roar, boy are you in luck! Starting tomorrow (really tonight at midnight), Jay Lee's "Zombie Strippers" makes a limited run at the Lumiere Theater. And if you want to meet Jay Lee ("Noon Blue Apples", "The Affairs of God", "The Slaughter"), he'll be at the Saturday 7:30 and 9:45 shows. Important, some of you might've heard that he'll be there Friday night, this is a last minute change, he'll be there Saturday.

Of course, the Hypnodrome is always cool, and their "Flaming Sin" show plays Fridays and Saturdays through at least the first two weekends of May. But I know there are people out there demanding to see something, anything, at the Hypnodrome on a Wednesday. Well, you're in luck, too! "Starslyderz", from the 2006 Another Hole in the Head Festival, is playing as a special "experience" on Wednesday, May 7 only. Directors/writers/stars Garrin Vincent and Mike Budde and their "randy alien puppet pals" are scheduled to be there. This is actually a very, very important screening for me. In 2006 I missed nearly all of Holehead so that I could go to the FIFA World Cup in Germany (which was awesome!) I since, in one form or another (screener, purchased DVD, crappy ex-rental VHS), have seen everything from the festival, except "Starslyderz". In fact, this is the movie that keeps me from being able to say I've seen everything that has ever played at Holehead--in its entire history. Come May 7, I'll have a clean sheet again! (oh yeah, that reminds me, Holehead is coming up June 6-22, trailers are up at their MySpace page, but that's too far off for me to write about yet).

In fact, I'm so excited about "Starslyderz" I'm going to miss a day of the SF International Film Festival for it. That starts next Thursday, April 24th, and it's the granddaddy festival of the bay area (and the country, it's celebrating its 51st year). I've splurged for a pass, again, and my task for the weekend is to plan out at least my first few days of the festival. All I know so far is I'm gonna get a lot of Asia Argento (she's my pretend girlfriend!). Not only is she in two of the Late Show movies--her father's "Mother of Tears" on April 25th and Abel Ferrara's "Go Go Tales" on April 26th (with extra screenings on the 28th and 30th), but she's also in the opening night film, "The Last Mistress". This is so much Asia, it's like the festival is just pandering to me. And let me tell you something about pandering to me--I like it, keep it coming!

Now the pass doesn't get me into opening night, so I splurged extra on a high-level membership that got me a pass, a VIP opening night film and party ticket, and 10-movie Cinevoucher. I suppose I could give these 10 free movies to my friends, but screw them (actually, most of them are either South Bay losers who don't like going up to the city every night just to watch movies, or they've already bought their festival tickets). I'd rather give them away to a loyal viewer, as a reward for reading through this entire post.

So here's the deal. You get the entire 10-movie voucher, I'm not dealing with splitting them up for several people. But you have to answer this trivia question: This blog's tagline is "the cinematic equivalent of trepanning a mermaid". That is because early in its life I was looking at my traffic to see how people got here, and someone had found it by googling "trepanning a mermaid", and I was the number one result (I'm also the number one result for "Richard Elfman's taint", but that's another story). I decided right then and there that I always wanted to be able to tell people they could find my blog by googling "trepanning a mermaid". So, for the 10 movie cinevoucher, answer this: What movie or movies did I blog about that originally made a search for "trepanning a mermaid" find my site, and during what festival or festivals did I see the movie(s)? The first person to leave a comment to this post (don't write me an e-mail) with the correct answer wins. Then we'll have to figure out how I deliver it to you, but we'll worry about that later.

And I suppose if, as I kinda fear, I don't actually have loyal readers, I guess if it gets to the start of the festival and we don't have a winner, I'll divvy the vouchers up among my friends.